


This Text Chat Group Will End Us All: Part I

by Cutthroat In Carolina (Illmerica), Illmerica



Series: I Can't Believe It's Not! another textchat series [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, No Spoilers, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 16:23:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10880529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illmerica/pseuds/Cutthroat%20In%20Carolina, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illmerica/pseuds/Illmerica
Summary: SHSL Inventor:FUCK yeahSHSL Inventor:its my time to motherfuckerin shineSHSL Inventor:alright kiddies, get your virgin asses ready for some school sanctioned sextingSHSL Inventor:lets get FUCKIN DIRTYSHSL Maid:No.SHSL Entomologist:Gonta has to agree with Toujou-san, he just took a shower!





	This Text Chat Group Will End Us All: Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Kaede Akamatsu — SHSL Pianist — Baethoven  
> Rantaro Amami — SHSL ??? — AMarySue  
> Tenko Chabashira — SHSL Aikido Master — femmefatal  
> Gonta Gokuhara — SHSL Entomologist — Gonta  
> Maki Harukawa — SHSL Childcare Worker — tsundon't  
> Ryoma Hoshi — SHSL Tennis Player — Just (Stop)  
> Kiibo Idabashi — SHSL Robot — K11-B0  
> Miu Iruma — SHSL Inventor — Wine Aunt™  
> Kaito Momota — SHSL Astronaut — spacejam  
> Kokichi Ouma — SHSL Dictator — dabs ex machina  
> Shuichi Saihara — SHSL Detective — panic!everyday  
> Tsumugi Shirogane — SHSL Cosplayer — moonmask  
> Korekiyo Shinguuji — SHSL Anthropologist — slenderman  
> Kirumi Toujou — SHSL Maid — Maid to Serve  
> Angie Yonaga — SHSL Artist — ✨angel✨  
> Himiko Yumeno — SHSL Magician — naibsel

**_Hope’s Peak Academy_ ** _created_ **_The 79th Class Chat_** _._

 **_Hope’s Peak Academy_ ** _added_ **_SHSL Pianist_** _,_ **_SHSL Detective_** _,_ **_SHSL Artist_** _,_ **_SHSL Entomologist_** _, and 12 others to the_ **_The 79th Class Chat_** _._

 

 **SHSL Detective:** um

 **SHSL Detective:** did the school just make our class a chat

 **SHSL Pianist:** Yep! Didn’t you get the email Saihara-kun? It’s to promote class unity and friendship during our first year at Hope’s Peak, and I, for one, think it’s a great idea!

 **SHSL Pianist:** We should _all_ be friends!!!

 **SHSL Detective:** okay but

 **SHSL Detective:** we're already a month into the semester?? this would have been a better idea at the beginning of the year

 **SHSL Magician:** ...they got my title wrong...

 **SHSL Magician:**...again…

 **SHSL Detective:** what does that have to do with the chat?

 **SHSL Magician:**...nothing it just...makes me sad...

 **SHSL Entomologist:** Gonta thought that was your title?

 **SHSL Magician:**...i’m a mage, not a magician...

 **SHSL Cosplayer:** Um, Yumeno, are all of those dots really necessary? Every single time?

 **SHSL Magician:**...

 **SHSL Magician:** ...yes...

 **SHSL Inventor:** FUCK yeah

 **SHSL Inventor:** its my time to motherfuckerin shine

 **SHSL Inventor:** alright kiddies, get your virgin asses ready for some school sanctioned sexting

 **SHSL Inventor:** lets get FUCKIN DIRTY

 **SHSL Maid:** No.

 **SHSL Entomologist:** Gonta has to agree with Toujou-san, he just took a shower!

 **SHSL Inventor:** well guess youll have to take another one soon big dick because were about to have the most BOMB ASS ORGY

 **SHSL Inventor:** LETS GET KINKY UP IN THIS BITCH

 **SHSL Astronaut:** uhh?? no??

 **SHSL Dictator:** someone said kinky im in

 **SHSL ???:** same

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** first off, youre both disgusting and should die

 **SHSL Dictator:** iruma started it

 **SHSL Inventor:** you little _bitch_

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** second off, Amami why the fuck is your title ???

 **SHSL ???:** haha yeah your guess is as good as mine

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** third, dont worry Himiko-chan, Tenko will fix that right up for you

 

 **_SHSL Aikido Master_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Magician_ ** _to_ **_SHSL Mage._**

 

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** hows that

 **SHSL Mage:** :3

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** <3 <3 <3

 **SHSL Dictator:** gay

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** like you can talk

 

 **_SHSL Aikido Master_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Dictator_ ** _to_ **_SHSL Dic(k) Lover._**

 

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** thats better

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** um RUDE

 **SHSL Cosplayer:** The real question is if it's an accurate username or not

 **SHSL Astronaut:** it is

 **SHSL ???:** oh yeah Oumas hella thirsty 24/7

 **SHSL Anthropologist:** Even the most basic of observations can prove that.

 **SHSL Detective:** accurate is an understatement

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** ,,shot down by my own harem,,, tragic,,,

 **SHSL Anthropologist:** Excuse you.

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** at least kiibaby and gonta still love me

 **SHSL Entomologist:** Gonta loves everyone!

 **SHSL Entomologist:** However, Gonta cannot say that he _always_ loves Ouma-kun. . .

 **SHSL Inventor:** H O L Y S H I T

 **SHSL ???:** hello 911 ive just witnessed the murder of a child

 **SHSL Astronaut:** OHHHOHHHHOOOOOO

 **SHSL Inventor:** THE FUCKIGN TWINK JUST GOT SHUT DOWN BY G O N TA GOK U HARA HOLY FUCK I CAN'T BREATHHEE

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** i can not even _believe_

 **SHSL Entomologist:** Gonta is sorry if he hurt Ouma-kun’s feelings!!

 **SHSL Childcare Worker:** There’s nothing to be sorry about, Gokuhara. The fact that you can stand him at all is amazing enough.

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** ( •̀ o •́ )

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** binch

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** and here i thought this was a FRIENDLY FRIEND CHAT

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** for FRIENDS

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** who CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

 **SHSL Dic(k) Lover:** cough **@SHSL Pianist** cough

 **SHSL Pianist:** And you’re absolutely right, Ouma-kun, it is!

 **SHSL Aikido Master** : its just that no one is your friend so no one cares

 **SHSL Pianist:** Tenko-san!!! Don’t say that!!

 **SHSL Artist:** AHEM

 **SHSL Artist:** does everyone know who they SHOULD care about???

 **SHSL Artist:** ANGIE! she hates these awful awful school usernames!!! even Kami-sama hates them!!!! none of them are fun or creative or fun and angie HATES IT!!

 **SHSL Pianist:** You know what, Angie-san’s right

 **SHSL Artist:** :3 :3 :3!!

 **SHSL Pianist** : Why don’t we all give ourselves some fun new usernames that reflect us better? It’ll be a good way for people to open up more! Here, I’ll even start

 

 **_SHSL Pianist_ ** _changed their username to_ **_Baethoven._**

 

 **Baethoven:** There!

 **SHSL Cosplayer:** That’s so cute Akamatsu!

 **SHSL Mage:**...adorable...

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** a cute username for a cute girl!!

 **Baethoven:** Thanks!! Okay you go next Saihara-kun!

 **SHSL Detective:** i don’t know, i’m not really that creative

 

 **_SHSL Dic(k) Lover_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Detective_ ** _to_ **_panic!everyday._**

 

 **_SHSL Dic(k) Lover_ ** _changed their username to_ **_dabs ex machina._**

 

 **dabs ex machina:** i got you babe

 **panic!everyday:** don’t call me that

 **panic!everyday:** but thanks

 **dabs ex machina:** ALL I WANT IS LOVE

 **panic!everyday:** uh

 **panic!everyday:** i’m good

 **SHSL Aikido Master:** well Ouma better keep his gross love away from any of the girls otherwise even Angie-chans God wont be able to protect him from Tenkos wrath

 **SHSL Inventor:** then its good hes almost as much of a fuckin raging homo as you are isn’t it

 **dabs ex machina:** almost??? you insult me

 

 **_SHSL ???_ ** _changed their username to_ **_AMarySue._**

 

 **AMarySue:** ladies ladies youre both pretty

 **AMarySue:** pretty gay that is

 **AMarySue:** ba dum pass

 **AMarySue:** i mean me too but like

 **SHSL Astronaut:** AMarySue?? what does that even mean

 **AMarySue:** it means i crave attention

 **dabs ex machina:** lame

 **AMarySue:** just go and describe my entire life story why dont you

 **Baethoven:** Well we are happy to give you attention, Amami-kun! Because we are all good friends!!!

 

 **_SHSL Childcare Worker_ ** _changed their username to_ **_tsundon’t._**

 

 **tsundon’t:** Except Ouma.

 **tsundon’t:** Fuck Ouma.

 **dabs ex machina:** what did i even do to you

 **tsundon’t:** You were born.

 **tsundon’t:** Then you decided that you would bother me with your existence.

 **tsundon’t:** Repeatedly.

 **tsundon’t:** It’s pretty self-explanatory.

 **dabs ex machina:** HOW DO CHILDREN EVEN LIKE YOU

 **tsundon’t:** It’s my sparkling personality.

 **SHSL Astronaut:** hah i _knew it_!!!

 **SHSL Artist:** SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

 **SHSL Artist:** angie has just been hit with ~!!~INSPIRATION~!!~ for more usernames!!!

 

 **_SHSL Artist_ ** _changed their username to_ **_✨angel✨._**

 

 **_✨angel✨_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Aikido Master_ ** _to_ **_femmefatal._**

 

 **_✨angel✨_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Astronaut_ ** _to_ **_spacejam._**

 

 **_✨angel✨_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Anthropologist_ ** _to_ **_slenderman._**

 

 **_✨angel✨_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Mage_ ** _to_ **_naibsel._**

 

 **_✨angel✨_ ** _changed_ **_SHSL Entomologist_ ** _to_ **_miraculous ladybug._**

 

 **✨angel✨:** :3 :3 :3!!

 **✨angel✨:** there!!! isnt Kami-sama just the NICEST for giving angie such good usernames?? everyone is welcome to praise Kami-sama for such nice gifts!!

 **✨angel✨:** he accepts blood sacrifices AND paypal!!!

 **slenderman:** Please send your God my sincerest thanks, Yonaga-san.

 **femmefatal:** Tenko likes it!! <3

 **spacejam:** well count me out cause i sure dont

 **spacejam:** space jam??

 **spacejam:** _SPACE JAM_???

 **spacejam:** i dont ask for much in this world angie but at least leave a man his GODDAMN PRIDE!!

 **spacejam:** i mean of all the movies you couldve went with

 **spacejam:** its,, fucking _space jam_ ,,,,

 **✨angel✨:** >:3 excuse you

 **Baethoven:** Momota-kun!!! That’s not very nice, you should apologize to Angie-san!

 **spacejam:** WHAT

 **SHSL Maid:** I believe you’re being dramatic. I also believe you’ve hurt Yonaga-san’s feelings.

 **spacejam:** okay but have you ever seen it

 **spacejam:** actually seen,, _space jam_ ,,,

 **SHSL Maid:** I can’t say I have, no.

 **spacejam:** WELL TAHTS WHY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

 **AMarySue:** it wasnt that bad

 **AMarySue:** the worst thing about it was how many kids realized that they were furries bc of lola bunnys hot bunny bod

 **panic!everyday:** why did you just make me read that

 **dabs ex machina:** were you one of them amami-chan

 **dabs ex machina:** were you one of the kids that got all hot and bothered over lola bunnys hot bunny bod

 **panic!everyday:** i take it back

 **panic!everyday:** why did you just make me read THAT

 **femmefatal:** menaces!! Angie-chan does something nice and you all SPIT in her face!!!

 **femmefatal:** die spaceman!!

 **spacejam:** see but space _man_ wouldve been a better username than,, euuugh,, space _jam_

 **✨angel✨:** >:O

 **femmefatal:** i will KICK your ASS

 **femmefatal:** then Oumas too for good measure and because i feel like it

 **dabs ex machina:** ヾ(｀^´)ﾉ!!!

 **dabs ex machina:** no respect!!!

 **spacejam:** the only reason youre so mad at me about not liking it is b/c im a dude!! i bet if yumeno said that she didnt like hers then you wouldnt tell HER to go die

 **naibsel:**...i don’t even know what this means to dislike it...

 **spacejam:** see! she hates it!!

 

 **_SHSL Cosplayer_ ** _changed their username to_ **_moonmask._**

 

 **moonmask:** I didn't know that you knew so much about western fandoms, Angie!

 **moonmask:** Especially the cartoons! I mean, Young Justice and Miraculous Ladybug are pretty good for shows developed in the west

 **moonmask:** They've got nothing on gintama but you know, eh

 **moonmask:** And if you're curious about what it means Yumeno then just read it backwards in english  ; )

 **femmefatal:** Tenko LOVES it!!! <3 <3 <3

 **dabs ex machina:** alright alright we get it you're both gay as fuck

 **dabs ex machina:** i think angie shouldve used a magician pun

 **✨angel✨:** well Kami-sama didn’t WANT her to give yumeno a magician pun!!

 **Baethoven:** I think you did a great job with everyone’s usernames, Angie-san! And as SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS we should all thank her!!

 **SHSL Maid:** Yumeno-san? I believe this is your call to make. It _is_ your username.

 **naibsel:** …

 **naibsel:**...i like it...

 **spacejam:** goddammit

 

 **_miraculous ladybug_ ** _changed their username to_ **_Gonta._**

 

 **✨angel✨:** bitch >:3

 **Gonta:** Gonta is very very sorry, but he cannot keep track of all these names!!!

 **Gonta:** It would be easier for him if he is just his own name instead

 **Gonta:** He hopes Angie-san isn't too mad!

 **Baethoven:** Don't be sorry! If anything, _we're_ sorry for getting you confused!! Do you think you could make a special exception for him, Angie-san?

 **✨angel✨:**...angie will allow it.......

 **✨angel✨:** that's only because gonta is gonta and not even angie can stay mad at gonta

 **Gonta:** Thank you Angie-san!

 **✨angel✨:** NO ONE ELSE

 

 **_spacejam_ ** _changed their username to_ **_LUNAtic._**

 

 **✨angel✨:** BITCH >:3 >:3 >:3

 **✨angel✨:** what did angie JUST say

 **SHSL Inventor:** HELL NAH

 

 **_SHSL Inventor_ ** _changed_ **_LUNAtic_ ** _to_ **_spacejam._**

 

 **_SHSL Inventor_ ** _changed their username to_ **_Wine Aunt_ ** **™.**

 

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** SUCK IT UP LIKE YOU SUCK SAIHARAS DICK BITCH

 **panic!everyday:** um

 **spacejam:** um

 **Baethoven:** Um

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** IF TOUJOU AND AKAMATSU WONT LET ME HAVE A MASS ORGY THEN I WONT LET YOU HAVE A GOOD USERNAME

 **✨angel✨:** >:3

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** **A SHITTY USERNAME THATS NO WHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS WHAT ANGIE GAVE YOU

 **✨angel✨:** :3

 **spacejam:** dammit

 **spacejam:** well,, this was fun guys,,,

 **tsundon’t:** Not really.

 **spacejam:** i hope,, everyone wholl miss me can,,,, recover from the loss,, but,,

 **tsundon't:** I'm sure we won't have any problems.

 **spaceman:** it's okay to,, mourn,,

 **spaceman:** ,, goodbye,,, everyone,,

 **Gonta:** Goodbye Momota-kun!

 **panic!everyday:** and i'm the dramatic one here

 **naibsel:** ...i thought that was ouma...

 **moonmask:** Well just because Momota and Ouma are dramatic too doesn't make Saihara any less of a drama queen

 **slenderman:** Yes, I do believe I've found him crying to himself while hugging a shirt that said 'The Black Parade’ on multiple occasions.

 **AMarySue:** h oly shit

 **dabs ex machina:** saihara-chan!!! if youd wanted something to cuddle when you were sad you shoudlve called ME!!!

 **panic!everyday:** I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN

 **slenderman:** We did indeed agree. Once.

 **slenderman:** That, however, did not include the four separate times that it also happened afterwards.

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** AHAAH GET FUCKED  

 

 **_SHSL Maid_ ** _changed their username to_ **_Maid to Serve._**

 

 **Maid to Serve:** Akamatsu-san, I believe this chat has served it's purpose of leading to new founded bonds amongst our class, but I must point out that it is well past midnight.

 **Maid to Serve:** Perhaps it would be best if we all turn in for the night?

 **Maid to Serve:** Class is still in session tomorrow whether we've slept or not. I'm sure Ms. Yukizome would not appreciate most of her class being asleep while she lectures.

 **naibsel:** ...yeah...i'm pretty tired...

 **✨angel✨:** angie is too

 **femmefatal:** if Angie-chan and Himiko-chan are tired then Tenko is too!!

 

 **_naibsel_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **_femmefatal_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **_✨angel✨_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **moonmask:** They've got a point

 **moonmask:** Goodnight everyone!

 **Gonta:** Gonta thinks he will sleep too! It would very ungentlemanly to hurt Ms. Yukizome’s feelings by falling asleep during class tomorrow!

 **Baethoven:** Goodnight : )

 

 **_Gonta_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **_moonmask_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **dabs ex machina:** oh thank god the lesbians and the weeb are gone

 **dabs ex machina:** and gonta i guess

 **dabs ex machina:** unless _gonta_ is a lesbian weeb too

 **Baethoven:** Ouma-san!

 **AMarySue:** no srsly Ouma dont insult weebs behind their backs man theyll _know_

 **AMarySue:** i insulted a weeb behind their back once and the next day all my earring backs had disappeared so i had to hot glue the ends to keep them in and it was _bad_ like really really bad

 **AMarySue:** have you ever gotten hot glue on your ears

 **AMarySue:** because it is not fun

 **spacejam:** i mean id bet that angies probs eaten some before

 **slenderman:** That isn’t related to the conversation whatsoever.

 **panic!everyday:** wait Amami-san why didnt you just go without any earrings until you bought more backs?

 **AMarySue:** do i look like a fucking savage to you

 **Maid to Serve:** I believe I’ll be going before this devolves into another one of Amami-san’s stories, if you all don’t mind.

 

 **_Maid to Serve_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **tsundon’t:** If only Ouma would leave too. Permanently.

 **tsundon’t:** Then maybe this chat could actually be useful, instead of just Ouma’s asinine comments over and over.

 **dabs ex machina:** okay amami-chan literally just told a story about HOT GLUING HIS EARRINGS IN and _im_ the problem????

 **tsundon’t:** Can you read.

 **slenderman:** My previous observations of him imply that he can, and yet, it appears new data has just emerged that suggests otherwise.

 **dabs ex machina:** oh whtvr

 **dabs ex machina:** without me this chat would be dead

 **spacejam:** i mean it might be a bit quieter without you but itd probs be just as fun

 **spacejam:** id still be here after all

 **spacejam:** and iruma i guess

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** Y E E T

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** TH E PARTY DONT STOP TIL I GET MY ORGY BITCHHHHES

 **dabs ex machina:** i didnt ask the furry or the virgin now did i

 **spacejam:** DUDE

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** YOU WISH

 **dab ex machina:** wish that you were a virgin? i mean your parents might but i dont like to judge

 **Wine Aunt** **™:** SHUT YOUR FUCK

 **AMarySue:** first youre offended at being called a virgin then youre offended at not being called a virgin which is it

 **dabs ex machina:** see without me this whole chat would just be iruma being insecure about her sex life and thats only fun for a few minutes

 **dabs ex machina:** then it just starts to get sad

 **dabs ex machina:** besides!! saihara-chan thinks im fun and thats all that matters ;)

 **panic!everyday:** uhm

 **panic!everyday:** i suppose fun could maybe be synonymous with what i think you are

 **tsudon’t:** What the hell is your definition of ‘fun’?

 **dabs ex machina:** oh

 **dabs ex machina:** so thats how it is

 **spacejam:** nah dude thats how its always been

 **tsudon’t:** It seems that not only are you unable to read words, but you’re unable to read people too.

 **dabs ex machina:** WELL FINE

 **dabs ex machina:** ILL JUST LEAVE THEN

 **tsundon’t:** Oh thank God.

 **dabs ex machina:** SEE HOW YOU LIKE THIS DUMB CHAT WITHOUT ME

 **dabs ex machina:** THEN ONCE YOU REALIZE JUST HOW DULL EVERYTHING IS WITHOUT ME YOULL ALL COME _C R A W L I N G_ BACK

 **dabs ex machina:** AND IN THAT MOMENT OF COMPLETE DESPERATION ON YOUR GODDAMN HANDS AND KNEES

 **dabs ex machina:** ILL LOOK YOU LOSERS IN THE EYES AND SAY A SINGLE PHRASE THAT WILL HAUNT YOUR WAKING NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES

 **dabs ex machina:** “ _hasta la later bitch_ ”

 **slenderman:** That is an exceedingly specific scenario.

 **tsundon’t:** It’s too late, because all the other stupid things you’ve ever said already haunt me.

 **Baethoven:** Hold on, Ouma-kun, let’s be reasonable!

 **Baethoven:** I know we can be tough on you, but it’s all in good fun!

 **dabs ex machina:** its too late akamatsu

 **dabs ex machina:** see you all in hell

 

 **_dabs ex machina_ ** _has left the chat._

 

 **tsundon’t:** Trust me, I’m already there.

 **panic!everyday:**  same

 **Baethoven:** You can’t leave that easily, Ouma-kun!

 

 **_Baethoven_ ** _added_ **_dabs ex machina_ ** _to the chat._

 

 **_dabs ex machina_ ** _has left the chat._

 

 **_Baethoven_ ** _added_ **_dabs ex machina_ ** _to the chat._

 

 **dabs ex machina:** LET!! ME!! HAVE!! MY!! DRAMATIC!! EXIT!!

 **dabs ex machina:** _hasta la fucking later_

 

 **_dabs ex machina_ ** _has left the chat._

 

 **_Baethoven_ ** _added_ **_dabs ex machina_ ** _to the chat._

 

 **dabs ex machina:** fine!! then ill just sign out!!! at least you cant stop THAT

 

 **_dabs ex machina_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **panic!everyday:** great

 **spacejam:** i bet hell last two days at most

 **tsundon’t:** I give him two hours.

 **tsundon’t:** Someone will say something stupid and he’ll be right back.

 **AMarySue:** eh give him some credit Harukawa id say he could make it for at least 4 before he caved

 

 **_SHSL Tennis Player_ ** _changed their username to_ **_Just (Stop)._ **

 

 **panic!everyday:** Hoshi-san??

 **Baethoven:** Hoshi-san, I’m glad that you’ve finally joined us! Although I wish you'd done it earlier because now most of the group has gone to bed...

 **Baethoven:** We’ll all be back on tomorrow though, so don’t worry!

 **Just (Stop):** I’m not here because I want to be.

 **AMarySue:** o kay ? ? ?

 **Just (Stop):** Listen. To. Me.

 **Just (Stop):** I’m not going to go through the effort of scrolling up and sorting through the absolute stupidity that’s been blowing up my phone for the last three hours, but Ouma just started to blast his shitty American pop music in the next room over and I _know_ someone here is responsible. He only does it when he wants to pout but no one is around to see him and, given that this is the third time this month it’s happened, let me be very clear. I will _not_ have another night of no sleep because of Ouma, and, if I do, I can promise that the rest of you will never sleep again.

 **Just (Stop):** You have until this playthrough of All the Single Ladies is over to do something about it.

 **Baethoven:** Ookay Hoshi-san

 **Baethoven:** Thank you for letting us know, we’ll get this fixed uh

 **Baethoven:** We’ll get this fixed as soon as possible

 **Wine Aunt** **™** **:** mother of a FUCKER, that goddamn twink set the class cryptid on us!!

 **spacejam:** DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING DEATH WISH

 **spacejam:** dont talk shit about hoshi when he is right goddamn there!!! HE MIGHT SHANK YOU

 **Just (Stop):** The clock is ticking.

 **Just (Stop):** The Single Ladies aren't going to wait.

 **spacejam:**  WOAH WOAH you literally JUST told us to do it!! thats not fair man!!!

 **Just (Don’t):** Thank you for volunteering, Momota. Shut him up or I’ll shut you up. Goodnight.

 **spacejam:** wait wft

 

 **_Just (Stop)_ ** _has gone offline._

 

 **Wine Aunt** **™** **:** GET R E K T BY THE FUCKIN CRYPTID BITCH

 **Wine Aunt** **™** **:** have fun gettin pounded to make sure hoshi doesnt murder your skinny ass

 **spacejam:** wait WAIT WAIT

 **spacejam:** hoshi don't DO THIS to me man!!!! i thought we were BUDS!!!

 **panic!everyday:**  um, just what made you think Hoshi-san was ever your ‘bud’

 **panic!everyday:** also? hes already signed out??

 **AMarySue:** i mean at least its not me

 **slenderman:** Agreed.

 **tsundon’t:** I certainly wasn’t going to do talk to him. Enjoy, Momota.

 **spacejam:** GUYS!!!! i dont want to talk to him! we _all know_ hes just wants attention!!!

 **Baethoven:** Sorry Momota-kun, but it seems you’re up. Best of luck!

 **spacejam:** cant we make saihara do it?? _hes_ the one oumas always thirsting after!!! not me!!

 

 **_panic!everyday_ ** _has gone offline._

  
**spacejam:** TRAITOR

**Author's Note:**

> A NEW STORY??? they cry
> 
> WHEN PVP AND THAT ADOPTION FIC WITH THE HELLA LONG NAME HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATED IN SO LONG??? they bemoan
> 
> AND WITH NONE OF THE ORGIES PROMISED??? they shout to heavens HOW COULD YOU???
> 
> Well you see dear readers of this fic who probably aren't here because of either of those stories, this series is very much a 'when we feel like it' kind of thing. Which we're been feeling like a lot lately b/c crack is fun to read AND write and ndrv3 is the shit. So yeah.
> 
> A new one of these should be coming out anytime, so hey, if this hit your funny bone just right then leave a comment and maybe check out our other shit fam. Enjoy.  
> ~Cutthroat


End file.
